Saturday, May 19, 2012

Dumbest Things People Do on Facebook


1. AUTOMATICALLY POST YOUR TWITTER UPDATES TO FACEBOOK

Automatically post your Twitter updates to Facebook
Cross-posting your boring life makes it seem twice as boring. Choose a venue to crap out your trivial quips and stick to it.

2. POST YOUR BABY'S PHOTO AS YOUR OWN

Post your baby's photo as your own
It doesn't make us think "cute kid," it makes everyone assume you have become immensely fat, lost your hair, etc.

3. POST UPDATES WHILE GETTING MARRIED

Post updates while getting married
Like this guy. Do the smoosh-cake-in-each-other's-faces thing and then post pics. We can wait.

4. PLAY FARMVILLE, MAFIA WARS OR ANY OF THOSE OTHER TIME SUCKS

Play Farmville, Mafia Wars or any of those other time sucks
Nothing shows the world you have no life better than seeing a badge from a virtual Facebook game. And then there's the Farmville-addicted mom who allegedly... Shiver!

5. POST EVERY TIME A FAMOUS PERSON DIES

Post every time a famous person dies
RIP whoever. That's what the Academy Award dead reel is for. And who are the freaks who click "like" on these notices?

6. DRINK & FACEBOOK

Drink & Facebook
Let this sleazy stock photo, above, and this other dude's alleged drinky deeds be a lesson to ya.

7. POST THE PICS OF YOUR UNDERAGE BEER BONG PARTY

Post the pics of your underage beer bong party

8. DO A VIDEO APPEAL IN THE SHOWER ABOUT NEEDING A PLACE TO LIVE

Do a video appeal in the shower about needing a place to live
Especially if you mention, like Danny Cohen does, that you are on unemployment.

9. MISSPELL STUFF THAT THE WHOLE WORLD CAN SEE

Misspell stuff that the whole world can see
And it's all attached to your name. Like these geniuses who spelled Mosque, "Mosk."

12. BREAK INTO SOMEONE'S HOUSE AND LOG INTO YOUR FACEBOOK ACCOUNT

Break into someone's house and log into your Facebook account
You'd think we wouldn't have to tell you this. But you'd be wrong.

13. MOCK THE COPS

Mock the cops
If you're on the lam, it's tempting to taunt the police. Try not to. Because like Craig here, they'll be super psyched to nail you.

14. BBQ ENDANGERED ANIMALS AND POST THE PICTURES

BBQ endangered animals and post the pictures
Unless you think, "Iguana go to jail" -- don't do it. Read about young Facebookers who allegedly fired up the barbie, roasted a rare animal until well-done and uploaded the pics right here.



17. POKE SOMEONE

Poke someone
What is this, 2006? The poke feature is now only used by the creepy and/or desperate. It attracts attention, sure, in the same way a grenade thrown into a busy Starbucks would. Ixnay on the okepay, OK?

18. SPEW ABOUT HOW FRACKIN' IN LOVE YOU ARE

Spew about how frackin' in love you are

19. GO ON MEDICAL LEAVE AND THEN UPLOAD PICS OF YOU WHOOPING IT UP

Go on medical leave and then upload pics of you whooping it up
Like this woman, you may get nabbed by your insurance company for your alleged dumb deeds. SFX: Sad trombone

20. THROW A SICK PET PITY PARTY

Throw a sick pet pity party
Photo: Susie Felber
Your beloved Snookums is on chemo, which sucks. But don't bring the whole world down with an update that you know will pimp people to write, "Oh I'm sooooo sorry." :(

21. COMMENT ON PHOTOS OF PEOPLE YOU BARELY KNOW AND HAVEN'T SEEN IN OVER A DECADE

Comment on photos of people you barely know and haven't seen in over a decade

22. LET ANYONE TAG A PHOTO OF YOU EVER

Let anyone tag a photo of you ever
It can and will be used against you.

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